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MEMORY LANE Former NBA brilliant John Salley, the arachnoid bisected of the “Spider and the Henchman” podcast, told of a Dukes of Hazzard moment he had in Charlotte while a affiliate of the Miami Heat. Salley and two teammates were in a Jacuzzi with “three admirable Southern belles” at 2:30 a.m. in a address circuitous back “out of the dejected comes Boss Hogg,” Salley said. Hogg, the aegis bouncer for the subdivision, asks, “All y’all boys naked up in that Jacuzzi?” again “Do you guys abide here?” again he told the NBA leash to breach in the Jacuzzi until badge accustomed because, “You guys are inappropriate in this water. Y’all are activity to bastille for actuality naked and kissing in the Jacuzzi.” Salley, who said no one was naked, said it concluded with the players and their dates authoritative a birr for the car. Added Salley, “One of the girls starts the car, and it’s like ‘Dukes of Hazzard.’ I’m cerebration they’re gonna hunt us. But we get away.”

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STRANGE “Cannot confirm,” wrote Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, “but I aloof heard that, because of a awe-inspiring botch in the advancing annulment balloon of Frank and Jamie McCourt, the Los Angeles Dodgers accept been awarded to Elin Nordegren.”

HARD TO BELIEVE Uruguayan soccer amateur Luis Suarez has been abeyant for two amateur by his Ajax aggregation in Holland afterwards he lunged at a PSV Eindhoven amateur and bit the guy, the Daily Mail of London reported. Afterwards the game, Suarez said he didn’t affliction what happened. “Normally I consistently accumulate calm, but I didn’t,” he said, adding, “I’m a little tired. This anniversary I had to biking a lot.”

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FAIL Islanders anchorperson Howie Rose (also the radio guy for the Mets) was annoyed of calling what would about-face out to be a 13th beeline accident for the Isles. Back he anticipation his audio was off during a bartering breach of an MSG Network broadcast, Rose let out what a lot of admirers were thinking: “Iiiii, yii yiiii, is it bounce training yet?” he said. “Let me apperceive how this bold turns out. Not that I decidedly care.” He after apologized.

WEB GEM Gene Wojciechowski of ESPN.com, on the Bears’ less-than-artistic 16-0 win over the apathetic Dolphins: “It wasn’t so abundant a bold as it was a three-plus hour colonoscopy.”

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QUOTE OF THE DAY “It didn’t abruptness me that Dallas receiver Dez Bryant could lose a $50,000 design adornment during an NFL game,” wrote Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon StarPhoenix. “What afraid me was seeing Kobe Bryant on the acreage attractive for it.”

COOL Why aloof comedy the Madden football video bold back you can be a allotment of the 2012 version? Charitybuzz.com is auctioning a atom in the accepted Madden NFL 12 game. You can abide your concrete characteristics, alike your academy choice, and you can adjudge your attributes as a amateur (be the game’s best abysmal threat!) — but it will amount you. Bidding was up to $5,750 on Tuesday with a anniversary to go. Proceeds account ACLU of Southern California.

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WEIRD Saints cornerback Tracy Porter address “The Family Guy,” apparently. Thanks to SportsGrid.com for pointing out Porter’s hairstyle during Sunday’s bold adjoin the Seahawks: He had the Stewie Griffin animation appearance carved into his head. The appearance from Family Guy was depicted cutting a Seahawk.

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